American Idol, Top 36: week 3

Bloggin’ it as it comes. Now with 500 fewer words than last week!

Von Smith “You’re All I Need to Get by,” Marvin Gaye.

Von will have to fight the college girls off with a stick when he headlines on a cruise ship. Occasionally looks like a supervillain when he sings.

Verdict: 6 out of 10 stars. Nobody can do this song like Kelly Clarkson did this song. I feel this might be the end of the road for Von. However, this is nowhere near as dismal as some of the performances from the past few weeks. Also, I think I owned those shoes.

Win: Simon’s, “No, I mean, you look appalling, but–”

Taylor Vaifanua (from “Hurricane,” Utah, which is a slap in the face to my native South Florida, but whatever): “If I Ain’t Got You,” Alicia Keyes.

Seventeen years old? Hmm. Her vocals on the chorus are better than 7 of last week’s performances.

Notable: There is a signature move that a giant majority of Idol contestants do that the husb and I call “Squatzies.” This involves planting one’s feet and bobbing up and down. When you see someone doing this move, you are obligated to shout, “SQUATZIES!” at your television screen. Taylor has nailed the squatzies.

Verdict: 5 out of 10. Good bye.

Win: Me: “She’s only seventeen!” The husb: “She doesn’t have a rep yet!”

(Wait, those were tears of joy?!?)

Alex (aka, “Oh, that guy!”) Wagner-Trugman: (Studio City represent!) “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues,” Elton John.

I like this guy WAY better than Nick/Norman, humor-wise. I have a feeling the judges are going to make fun of his growly singing.

Verdict: If I’m being honest, I kind of like Alex. 7 out of 10, mostly for personality.

Win: Alex: “Well, thank you,” to Paula, while his eyes say, “What on earth do you mean?”–OMG! Simon actually said, “growling!” The win goes to ME!

Win #2: Ryan Seacreast gets an American Express Black card for saying, “Put it on my Amex.”

Arianna Afsar: “The Winner Takes It All,” ABBA.

This could be a mistake. Too old a song. Weird! Weird! Aaah, the wobblies! They stress me out. Okay, she has an incredible voice. But she could have picked a better song.

Verdict: 3 out of 10 for most of it, 8 out of 10 for like three moments.

Win: Paula’s profound, “It’s a songful of melody.”

Notable: Who would win in a fight between Paula’s earrings and Randy’s watch?

Ju’Not Joyner: “Hey There, Delilah,” by Plain White T’s

Oooh, I like him from the start. OMG, smart! And good! Who could have hoped for anything like this? And he’s a very new combination of singer/style for this show.

Prediction: Randy will say, “Yo, that was hot, dawg!”
Follow-up: I was wrong. But close.

Verdict: 8 out of 10.

Win: Ju’Not, I hope.

Kristin McNamara, the karaoke host. “Give Me One Reason,” by Tracey Chapman.

She looks so 80s, her features and makeup. Oh, she looks like Cheryl Tiegs. She sounds like a karaoke host. This is the kind of performance famous people can do once they’re famous. But this isn’t what you do to get famous.

Verdict: 6 out of 10.

Nathaniel Marshall: “I Would Do Anything for Love,” by Meatloaf.

The husb hates him, but I’m a fan, myself. I don’t know why. Uh, wait, no, not of the singing. But I like him as a little guy. The thing is, when Adam Lambert (from last week) is in the competition, you can’t sing Meatloaf. Because that guy could smack it out from under you like a shaky ladder.

Notable: that’s kind of like what my hair looks like in the morning.

Verdict: a regretful 4 out of 10.

Fail: When the judges start bickering and making jokes, it’s really sad to watch the contestants getting sadder and sadder.

Fail Sandwich: Paula. Go home, Paula.

Felicia Barton: “No One,” Alicia Keyes.

Ohhhh, that note. Ouch. Okay, I really dislike people who can hit the notes but don’t sound “pretty” when they do it. I guess I’m old-fashioned. I like pretty singing.

Verdict: 6 out of 10. Nothing special for me.

Win: Bangs.

Scott MacIntyre: “Mandolin Rain,” Bruce Hornsby.

Never heard this song. Oh, wait, heard it a thousand times. Can I say that I don’t think his vocals are where they need to be? Also, I thought this song was all about banjos.

Verdict: 6 out of 10, with some spots of 8 out of 10. I agree with Randy about the great parts being really great. And the passion.

Win: the husb likes Scott’s “super-helpful brother.”

Kendall Beard: “This One’s For the Girls,” by Martina McBride.

Ah, reaching out to the country fans. MINI SQUATZIES, She’s not great. Not terrible. Meh. The second half is pitchy. And she looks tired.

Verdict: 6 out of 10.

Win: Kendall’s outfit-choosing mom.

Jorge Nu?ez: “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me,” Elton John.

Good voice. Lots of control. Kinda boring. Don’t care about him.

Verdict: 7 out of 10. Ooh, he grew on me when he was all cute with the judges, and confused by Paula’s nonsense.

Fail: Racist Paula. Woo. Great.

Lil Rounds: “Be Without You,” Mary J. Blige.

Worst name ever, but whatever. She’s a good performer. I appreciate her technically, but she’s not my favorite. Seriously, a pro. Good for her.

Verdict: 8 out of 10, reluctantly.

Win: Lil. Clearly.

My predictions: Lil, Scott, and either Jorge or Ju’Not.

My personal favorite of the night was Ju’Not.

Related posts:

1. In defense of American Idol.
2. Things I don’t want to watch TV shows about.
3. I should not be this excited.

March 3rd, 2009 Katie Alender

Tags: music, tv