Ah, it’s that time of year! Bulwer-Lytton Worst First Line contest results are out (CLICK HERE to read them all)! This is a contest held every year in which entrants try to write the worst possible first line to a novel. A Paperback Writer had the link posted over yonder on her blog. I have to say, maybe I’m not in a laugh out loud mood today, but usually there are at least three or four that make me snort. This year, not so much.
Here are a few of my favorites from this year’s list of winners (…and keep reading for THE CONTEST!):
The serrated butter knife tossed capriciously onto the 38th Street sidewalk amid the detritus of Salem cigarette butts and a Mentos box was devoid of zero trans fat margarine, but glinted invitingly in the sunlight nonetheless, poised for the opportunity to be repurposed to cut up a Snuggie, and Vladimir took it.
Amy E. Gross
Fair Lawn, NJ
After quickly scrutinizing the two dangerously buff men coming toward her in the dark and wondering whether she could take them both out, P.I. Velma Plusch mentally inventoried her arsenal-two pistols, two stiletto-clad feet, two leather-gloved hands, two each eyes, ears, lips, and breasts-and decided that she could.
Donna Kain, Ph.D.
Greenville, NC
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn’t wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren’t.
Eric Rice
Sun Prairie, WI
So… CONTEST TIME!
Let’s talk LAST LINES. Or, to be more general, endings. To enter this contest, do one of the following things:
(1) In the style of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, hit me with your worst LAST line for a book; or
(2) Tell me about a book ending that really resonated with you (bonus points if it’s mine–HA, just kidding)
WHAT YOU WIN: An autographed copy of BAD GIRLS DON’T DIE, an eye pillow and a tote bag, which I will custom make based on your taste in fabrics. If you already have any portion of these items, you can angel them to someone else. Won’t that be fun? Aren’t you such a generous person!
HOW TO WIN: Everyone who comments with one of the two entry styles above will be entered in a drawing. One entry per person. Writing a worst last line gives you a chance to be shouted-out and glorified in front of everyone else, though.
THE DEETS: The contest ends at 11:59 p.m. Pacific Friday, July 10. Unfortunately, only folks in the U.S. and Canada can win the actual prizes… but if you’re international, how about entering anyway and gifting your prize to somebody Stateside?
Please join me over yonder at the Debutante Ball today, to find out what I would say to my past self.
But before you go, perhaps you would like to see a little bit of Winston being nutso? This is what he does almost every morning–goes into the guest room and jumps on the bed, causing the reflections from the little mirrors on the blanket to bounce around on the walls, causing Winston to jump more, causing the lights to bounce more, and so on. He can do this for ten minutes without even thinking of stopping.
This has the audio of dog barking, so please use discretion in the workplace!
So, when I was in New York a few weeks ago, I got to meet adorable YA book blogger Sharon (from Sharon Loves Books and Cats) at the Strand, the famous bookstore in Union Square. Sharon is the master of the Strand and she showed me all the good spots, as well as picking out some great books for me to buy and take home with me.
However, horribly, I was a sneezing mess the WHOLE time we were in the bookstore. It was so weird, because I had just had lunch with Agent M, and I don’t recall sneezing on him at all. I must be allergic to books. Sharon was very nice about it, though, and didn’t do what a lot of people would have done, which would be to hold up a cross in front of me and shout, “Away, swine flu vessel, away!”
No, we just hung out and it was cool.
But then I came home and you can only imagine my horror when I read on Twitter that Sharon was SICK! That’s right, she had the cold from hell, and even had to miss work.
So, awash with guilt, I did what any self-respecting crafter does to atone for a dastardly deed: I sewed up some bribes!
And Sharon got them this week, and she vlogs (that’s video-blogs) about it in her typically cute manner here.
So thanks, Sharon, and I’m sorry! Even though you absolved me, I’m still sorry. I mean, even if it was your job that got you sick, being sneezed at for forty-five minutes couldn’t help.
Here’s the video itself, for those of you who don’t feel like clicking a link (I won’t judge you)…
Who’s hankering for a Winston pic? Me, too! Here he is (with Mom–that is, me) in the pool in Palm Springs. He’s pretty comfortable on the raft. Especially with a half-deflated beach ball to beat up on. (It’s just being in the actual water that throws him off a little.)
Thanks SO much, everyone! The outpouring of well wishes is just lovely. Gives me the heap big warm fuzzies.
So, now that I am an author with a series, my life has gotten way more glamorous.
It started last night, when Winston and I were out for a short walk, and he stepped on a bee. I knew something had happened, because he stopped short and looked up at me like, “Why did you do that, Mother?” And then he started kicking his leg really fast–kickkickkickkickkick–and hopping around. So I scooped him up, carried him inside, and made the husb hold him down while I got the stinger out. He actually had what looked like another stinger in the hair between his toes, but not in his foot. So I got that out, too.
(At this point, Joan Rivers stopped me and asked me who I was wearing–Target and the husb’s 1994 Key Club tee-shirt, if you must know.)
Then we watched the results show of “So You Think You Can Dance,” which is pretty good so far this year. I absolutely loved the crash test dummy dance last week. It sort of hypnotized me. Just wonderful. (The husb didn’t get it at all.) And I’m a big fan of Evan, the Gene Kelly guy. Probably because I’m a big fan of Gene Kelly.
(Then we got in the limo and drank a bottle of Veuve, you know, just because.)
This morning, I am waiting to hear back from Agent M about something, because he is on a plane. Also, the plumbers are here to cap the leaky sprinkler line and put in a new water heater, hopefully one that won’t turn the water blue like the old one was apparently doing.
(And that’s when P. Diddy said my life is too crazy and he had to go take it easy back at his own place for a while. That guy needs to toughen up!)
So! There you have it. The dream is alive and well. Any minute, I expect Donald Trump is going to show up with my Standard Rich and Famous Contract. I can only hope he’ll remember to wear shoes so I don’t have to pull any bee stingers out of his foot.
Well, this is definitely the kind of blog post every author dreams about writing. Let me start by saying, I have had such a great experience over the past two months. Everyone from my friends to my family to my co-workers (most of whom are also friends) has been supportive and encouraging and just all-around wonderful about the book.
It has been very well received, to my great pleasure. And apparently it’s doing pretty well for a debut book. The Spanish-language rights sold, and it’s been several weeks since Disney-Hyperion went back for a second printing (so grab those first editions while you can get ‘em!).
But today I can share the biggest news yet… that Disney-Hyperion (my amazing publisher) has decided to turn Bad Girls Don’t Die into a series! That’s right, here’s the deal that was announced today at Publisher’s Marketplace:
Katie Alender’s two untitled sequels to Bad Girls Don’t Die, continuing the story of teen girls forced to battle evil spirits in a small suburban town, to Arianne Lewin at Hyperion Children’s, for publication in Spring 2011 and Spring 2012, by Matthew Elblonk of The Creative Culture (NA).
Pretty much the emotion I’m feeling right now is “HURRAY!”
Is that an emotion?
It’s what I feel, anyway! (That and a pressing need to GET TO WORK.)
So thank you to everyone who has supported the book by buying it, reading it, reviewing it, sharing it, telling me you liked it, not telling me if you didn’t like it, and asking if there’s going to be a sequel. To which I can now answer–NO–there are going to be TWO sequels!
I don’t know anything yet about titles, covers, or anything like that. I just know I’d better get my patooty in gear!
Please join me over at the Debutante Ball as we help my sister author, Kristina Riggle, launch her book, Real Life & Liars.
So I have been dismal about posting, this I know (you know it’s bad when you’re talking to you mom on the phone and she says, “You haven’t been blogging!”). But I hereby vow to get better, seeing as how the dog show is over and all. Just watch me!
Hey, all! Writing this from our Veddy Veddy Hip (to the point of non-functionality, really) hotel room in the Veddy Veddy Hip Meatpacking District of New York City.
We’re in town for the Webby Awards ceremony, because thanks to all of the amazing people who voted, we’re picking up Beaker’s People’s Voice Award for him. (It is much easier to go to an awards show when you know the results.)
New York is amazing, as usual, but this neighborhood is way hipper than where we’ve stayed in the past. Everything seems more crowded and way more scene-y, which isn’t my favorite thing in the world. But it’s still really fun. We’ll branch out a little into other neighborhoods today.
Yesterday we got to hang out with my brother and his wife and their hilarious little hulk of a son. He’s about 17 months old, and he tries to lift the coffee table. Awesome!
I feel yuck today; you know those sore throats that coat your throat and make you feel sort of nauseated? That’s where I am right now. Blecch.
All right, just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I didn’t drop off the face of the blogosphere! Thanks for coming by!
(This is a picture I took from my hotel room with my new favorite iPhone app, QuadCamera, which takes uh-maze-ZING foursquare pictures. If you meet me on this trip, you will experience how annoyingly obsessed I am with this program.)
So, yeah, the joke is, it’s been so long that I posted that I forgot what a blog is! Ha.
Close, but not quite–yet.
Please visit me today over at the Debutante Ball, where I’m talking about my favorite travel memories.
Now, on to the quiltage!
This is “Baby Quilt: Onur”… it’s an I-Spy quilt, which is made with lots and lots of nifty fabrics to give baby and grown-ups lots of things to talk about and look at together.
(You can get a closer look by clicking on it.)
While I was binding this quilt, I took a picture of one side to show how much pinning goes on during the binding process (hint: a LOT). I hate pinning. Please pretend to be suitably impressed by this photo:
Naturally, after I finished the quilt (but before the final wash), Winston got his chance to sit on it, as is always the case (and disapproves, as is always the case):
So, this quilt was an interesting one for me because I used bamboo/cotton batting. For those of you who are not quilters, for the longest time, quilters have pretty much had two choices: cotton or polyester batting. Cotton is popular because it’s all natural and it has a little more floppiness to it. Cotton batting also makes you feel very virtuous and old-fashioned when you use it, because it often has little cotton seeds in it. Polyester batting is puffy and soft and doesn’t shrink when you wash it the way cotton does. (But you can use the pucker effect to make a quilt look more “charming,” or some other similar word.)
I’ve used cotton for a few quilts, notably “Ida Millie”:
And “Adelaide’s Birds”:
Now, bamboo/cotton is a blend, and the verdict is, I LOVED it. To hold it in your hand feels like holding a quilt that’s been washed and used for a hundred years–floppy and soft and wonderful. And it comes out of the bag like that. I didn’t find it hard to work with in the least. The only thing that surprised me is how much it shrank. I lost 2-3 inches in length and width when I washed the quilt (in hot water) after finishing it. I still like the look, but now when I use it, I compensate in advance for the loss of quilt geography.
It’s a little expensive (twice the price of polyester) but I think VERY worth it.
So that’s my quilty post! Laura, I hope you’re happy.
k.
PS - If you want to see more of my quilts, check out my Flickr set.
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Ah, it’s that time of year! Bulwer-Lytton Worst First Line contest results are out (CLICK HERE to read them all)! This is a contest held every year in which entrants try to write the worst possible first line to a novel. A Paperback Writer had the link posted over yonder on her blog. I have to say, maybe I’m not in a laugh out loud mood today, but usually there are at least three or four that make me snort. This year, not so much.
It started last night, when Winston and I were out for a short walk, and he stepped on a bee. I knew something had happened, because he stopped short and looked up at me like, “Why did you do that, Mother?” And then he started kicking his leg really fast–kickkickkickkickkick–and hopping around. So I scooped him up, carried him inside, and made the husb hold him down while I got the stinger out. He actually had what looked like another stinger in the hair between his toes, but not in his foot. So I got that out, too.
