Blog RSS Feed"Say SNEEZE!"
There’s a piece of Southern California urban wisdom that says, if you had hay fever when you lived on the East coast, you won’t have it here. If you were fine back east, invest in tissues because, brother, you’re in for it. This correctly assumes that everyone in LA moved here from somewhere else.
Well, I never had seasonal allergies when I lived in Florida, and I guess you can figure out where that leaves me. A few weeks ago, I noticed that Winston seemed to be snoring more emphatically, and it wasn’t more than a day or two before I started to completely fall apart. If left unmedicated, I turn into a sneezing, red-eyed, pathetic-voiced mess.
(And my sneezes are exhausting, because they always require an explanation. I sneeze quietly, like a cat, so people have to ask me if I’ve sneezed or what, and by the time I start to answer, I sneeze approximately eighteen more times in quick succession. At which point the person is so entranced by my alarming display that they forget what they were asking about. It’s like the grand finale at the fireworks show. I still surprise my husband, nearly every time, with how many times I can sneeze in a row. He’ll say, “Bless you!” the first time and then just sit there, watching, and saying, “Geez,” every few sneezes.)
I don’t think it helps that the giant oaks in our backyard are so pollenated right now that they look fuzzy. Plus, the house is on a hill, so the fuzzy tops of those trees are basically nose-level when you’re in the house. And we love leaving the windows open (the better to allow the pollen to infiltrate) and sitting on the balcony. And we walk up the hill and shortcut through our newly be-staired backyard, which means huffing and puffing right underneath the oaks. And I drive home with my windows and sunroof open, because even though I’m not an outdoorsy type, Santa Monica in the late afternoon is just too pleasant to box myself in from. (–”in from which to box myself”?)
So let’s be clear: I’m not taking any precautions. I’m just popping allergy pills (the non-drowsy kind) and hoping things get better before I accidentally blow my ears out.
How does this tie into publication? Well, seeing how all the fun stuff is happening with laying out the book and designing the cover and all, I needed to take an author photo for the inside jacketflap. (It goes next to the bio.) So even though I swore up and down a year ago that I’d lose those pesky *cough* few pounds before taking the photo, it was time, and I had to go for it.
If you’re still wondering how this ties together, let me simply say: the world will now know me as a girl with one squinty eye and one normal eye. Because for some reason, my allergies settled in my right eye and wouldn’t let go yesterday. (My right eye is always slightly squintier (just about everyone has asymmetrical eyes), but not to this extent.)
HOLD THE PRESSES: That’s my LEFT eye that’s all squinty! My right eye looks normal. I am so confused right now. Apparently I just AM that squinty… which is cool, right? Because perfection is boring and squintishness is awesome. Even though natural selection would condemn me for my asymmetry, my friends will just find it quirky… right? Right? Right?
So that totally negates the whole point of the post. Don’t tell anyone who hasn’t read this far. Anyhoo, here’s the picture we chose:
Photo credit: Mike Clark
Cheerio! Happy sneezing!
Related posts:March 28th, 2008 Katie Alender
You look great, Katie!
I am sorry to hear about your hay fever, but very impressed with your repeat sneezing ability. My father could do this: we once timed him at 19!! His sneezes, unlike yours, were loud enough to be heard by neighbors down the block. I’m a quiet sneezer. One of my colleagues in Tokyo got a kick out of this and claimed that I was the cutest sneezer he’d ever heard. He would come over to my desk just to watch me sneeze and crack up every time, bless him.
Thanks, Mary! I don’t think I’ve ever reached 19, but I bet I’ve hit 13 or 14.
My sneezes have been called “cute”, too–but just the first one. Then I sneeze again, and they’re like–”See? So cute–” and I sneeze again, and again, and again, and they just back away, terrified.
Your picture looks terrific! You look a bit like Jennifer Garner in it. Maybe there’s something to that squinty thing!
I had slight allergies in Florida, but Vermont is an absolute nightmare. It’s still freezing here and snow’s on the ground, but already this Spring I’m starting to get the sinus pressure, congestion and sneezing. I hate how allergy medicines makes me feel, so usually I suffer until it gets so bad that I can’t function.
Hope you find some relief!
Love the picture.
Speaking of “squinty”, I think I have a squinty nasal passageway, now that I think about it. It’s the left one. That or I’m beset by those same allergies that plague you and Winston(?). Does my co-conspirator Winston suffer from allergies?
On behalf of all straight men in blogdom, very nice picture! You look as pleasant as you write:0) Will there be any posters coming out? I recommend a jumbo size poster with a Farrah Fawcet pose. I think this will increase the readership of your male demographics (Katie, you already have my attention because I think you?re smart and a very good writer and Winston seems to like you).
Anyway, have a fun-filled pill-popping weekend and let us know anything new about the book as details become available.
Take care.
Love the photo
It’s a cute picture of you Katie. Although I prefer your blogger profile pic.
Are you SURE it’s your left eye? Maybe someone accidentally mirrored the proof. Better look in the mirror and sort yourself out. (and bless you)
Oh, pshaw. You’re no squintier than the average grizzled mountain-man type.
Great picture!
Mary Lou must be so proud!
I don’t see a squint! An exciting time.
Okay – all caught up. I haven’t left, I promise. I had pneumonia around Valentine’s Day and that kind of screwed with everything a month or so.
I *love* your photo! I think you look awesome. Where are those pesky extra pounds you were talking about? I’ve looked everywhere (on your face) and can’t see them.
Meredith, I’m still in awe that a South Florida girl can survive in New England–I can’t even drive in the rain anymore. And Jennifer Garner… I don’t see it, but I’m happy to take the compliment!
Gina, thank you! And thanks for commenting, and please forgive me for taking a week to respond.
Tom, me in a Farrah Fawcet pose would probably get this blog taken off the internet. There are certain things the world doesn’t need to see. Your pill-popping comment made me laugh, but to be sure there’s a lot of truth there.
Eileen, thank you!
Lilia, what’s funny is that it never occurred to me to use that photo! It’s just a snapshot from my 30th birthday party. It’s probably the multiple glasses of wine that make me look so saucy…
Amber, LOL! I’m actually married to a bit of a grizzled mountain man type. If you take out all the wilderness knowledge part. I’m glad you like the photo!
Laura, Mary Lou is actually still gloating about the shopping trip. She’s ignoring me for the time being.
Tut-tut, thank you! I would point it out for you, but ignorance is bliss.
Megan, pneumonia! Yikes! I hope you’re feeling better. I’m glad you like the picture… as for the location of the extra few pounds, they’re pretty evenly distributed in an area that I hope never to spotlight in photos. Glad to see you here!
Neither here nor there, but I always sneeze six times. And people think that’s a lot, lol.
I think your author photo is gorgeous! What are you on about with the squintiness? I don’t see it.
Which makes me wonder now, how squinty are my eyes?