Disturbing new trend alert! You heard it here first!

I don’t know if this is as prevalent across the rest of the world as it currently is in the USA, but lately I’ve noticed a trend in a lot of advertisements.

I call it “a-hole chic.” (Well, when I’m not blogging in front of a potentially PG-rated audience, I use the whole word. But the abbreviated version gets the point across, right?)

At some point, it became desirable and even “cool” to have commercials where the people are just jerks. There are dozens of ads where the deliberately slobby roommate or treasonously unsympathetic spouse somehow one-ups an innocent victim and comes out on top.

There’s a pretty bad campaign out for Glade scented products, featuring the products’ ability to turn any normal person into a pathological liar. The lady who tells her yoga friends she found some miraculous odor-emitting substance, and then the one friend sees the plug-in and calls her out on it. The lady in the tub who lies and tells her friend she’s at a spa??

(First of all, why are you answering your cell phone in the tub? Let’s just lay this on the table right now, I would rather not talk to you on the phone when you are in the process of bathing yourself.)

But the worst offender by a mile has to be the new Cadillac campaign, where the painfully detached woman drives at what must be unsafe speeds down a tunnel in her Cadillac, and talks in her best “meanest girl in 7th grade” voice about the car.

Or the one that I’ve seen approximately 422 times this week, with the guy driving the Cadillac hybrid.

He drones on like the antagonist in a Disney film, criticizing the current crop of hybrids for their lack of features like an eight-inch DVD player and a cow-pusher and a king-size waterbed, or whatever ridiculous things people are demanding in their cars these days, and then he says they should make a hybrid of the car he’s driving, which has not only all those features but also allows you to rob old ladies and shoot homeless people with a built-in pellet gun.

Then he looks at the camera and says, “Whoops. Did I give away the secret?” or something, in the most irritatingly snide tone, like he’s way better than you and he’s actually kind of annoyed that a peon like you even gets to watch his commercial.

What they aren’t telling you is that between shooting commercials, he’s the second assistant manager at Denny’s–not that there’s anything wrong with an honest day’s work–and the way he’s able to conjure up such a snotty tone is that he’s pretending he’s working the Daytona Denny’s in the middle of spring break season.

So here’s the real problem. I know a couple of nice people who drive Cadillacs. But they’re soon going to be way outnumbered by the people who saw these commercials and decided that they aspired to be just like the a-hole (man or woman) in the commercial. And before you know it, 99% of the Caddys on the road will be driven by junior titleholders in the a-hole chic pageant.

Which leads me to my two personal snide remarks, which are questions for the people who can relate to the mean lady and dude:

(1) What kind of maniac buys a hybrid car that gets 12 mpg?
(2) If you’re dying for a car with an 8-inch DVD player, you have at least one kid, and also that you are incapable of entertaining said kid by yourself. So not only are you raising a snotty child who will drive you to distraction once s/he becomes a teenager (kids are sponges!), but clearly you are not the most interesting human being on the planet, and no amount of talking down your nose at the rest of us is going to make you any less of a flaming bore.

So there.

5 comments October 8th, 2008

I get it, I get it! There’s a gun on the mantle!

“One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.”
Anton Chekhov

Most writers (and probably readers) have heard this advice, although I’d always heard it as “a gun on the mantlepiece,” thanks to which I learned that I had no idea how to spell “mantle.” (Hey, I grew up in the sunny South. Santa came in through the front door.)

Anyway, I’m reading a book (okay, listening to an audiobook–audiobooks rule!) right now–which shall remain nameless–where the endless foreshadowing sans payoff is about to drive me totally bonkers.

Don’t get me wrong–it’s a really good book. I love the characters, the story, the setting, the tone, the language. Gosh. A great book. If only I could go through it with a red pen and remove all the guns and mantlepieces.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

Blah blah 8 chapters of character development and story development about Donny and his friend Gordon, and so on… and then WHAM! Donny, the narrator says, “I had no idea that it would be the winter that tore apart our friendship forever.”

Oh, snap! No way, Donny! Do tell!

Blah blah 4 more chapters of really good writing and lots of interesting stuff–plenty of stuff, really, to keep me reading; I mean, really, what a taut narrative! I am so engrossed in this story! And then WHAM! Donny says, “If only I’d known that everything that has happened since that winter was telegraphed in that conversation.”

What can you possibly mean, Donny? (Because said conversation was about, like, running shoes.)

Blah blah for another 5 chapters, Donny and Gordon go on with their lives and things really start to get interesting. What amazing writing this is. I’m enthralled. Then–WHAM! Donny says, “In a way, what Gordon and I realized that morning was that some inevitable point was approaching for both of us, after which nothing would ever be the same. Of course, neither of us knew it until it was too late.”

COME ON, DONNY, THROW ME A FRICKIN’ BONE HERE!

By this point in the story, all I can think of is that something horrible is about to happen. I can hardly keep my mind on the primary storyline any longer. The mantlepiece is piled high with guns, and I am about one glass of white wine away from skipping to the end of the story to see how they’re fired and who gets shot.

I mean, yeah, foreshadowing is all well and good, but for heaven’s sake, you don’t have to start telegraphing the ending in every chapter. It’s like the old Nancy Drew serials–every chapter ends with a BUM-BUM-BUMMMMM, such as an ominous phone call or a body found in the hospital broom closet.

The dour predictions and hints are laid on so thick that the following actually happened: I accidentally had not downloaded the final segment (since audiobooks are broken up into multiple files). I was listening to the last one I had, and saw that there was an hour left. “Aha!” I thought. “Finally I will get to hear how everything fell apart and Donny and Gordon ceased to be friends.”

Forty-five minutes left… thirty minutes left… eight minutes left… I thought, “Well, it’s going to be a sudden ending, but at least I will get to know what the heck Donny was moaning about all this time!”

WRONG, of course. When I realized there were six more hours of what is otherwise a fantabulously well-written audiobook, I was SAD. That is SO BAD, my friends. I never, ever want my audiobooks to be over. They are my friends, and I want them all to be 45 hours long. I should have been so excited to learn that Donny and Gordon and I were going to get another 8 chapters together.

As an author, this is probably the second-worst thing you can do to your readers. (The first is to write a terrible book that everyone claims is really good and you’re a dummy if you don’t like it.) This crime–the second–is to write an amazing book that they wish they were done with, already.

(The third is to write a terrible book that they read anyway, because they want to know how it ends. The fourth is to write a boring book that wastes their time but is ultimately ditchable.)

So please, fellow authors. Maybe you’re planning some gunfire in chapter 26. But do me a favor and keep the gun off the mantle until chapter 22 or so.

PS – Next week is my first week blogging as a member of the 2009 class of The Debutante Ball, a wonderful group blog for debut authors. I start blogging Tuesday, and I’m joined by a bunch of other cool authors, whose books all sound very excellent and intimidating. I’m the first YA debut author, so please meander over there Tuesday and read my post and comment and be all, “Wow, Katie, you are AWESOME!”

8 comments August 28th, 2008

Eight months!

On the blog again,
Just can’t wait to be on the blog again…
The life I love is blogging issues with my friends,
And I can’t wait to be on the blog again.

Sorry to be away so long! Thanks for all of your comments about the earthquake. No aftershocks that I’ve noticed. It did make me buy some fresh quake supplies–which is always a good thing.

It hit me the other day that we are actually beginning the home stretch toward the publication of Bad Girls Don’t Die. (Yes, it’s been such a long journey that eight months seems like it’s creeping right up on me.) That’s crazy! It means I have to start thinking more actively about marketing and building up the interactive portions of the website. Authors are responsible for taking a much larger role in the marketing of their books than used to be the case.

That’s why you have so many author blogs, etc. It’s really cool, actually, that for a sizable chunk of books on the market, you can find the author’s blog and make a bit of a personal connection. I’m really looking forward to hearing from people who read my book and find something that resonates with them.

It makes me wonder, what author would I like to have a chance to sit down and talk to? Not Ayn Rand, even though I’m always saying how much I love Atlas Shrugged. For some reason, it dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that Rand is a pretty good mix between genius and maniac. I love that book, the universe, and the characters–but I realized that her characters are profoundly empty people. At one point, it’s said of the main character that the only thing she enjoys doing (besides running a railroad) is sitting at home and listening to one of four concertos by her favorite composer.

Now tell me, is this a lady I want to emulate? I dig her work ethic, but I’d like to think that even the most dedicated workers among us will want to take a stroll around the neighborhood, or go see a movie, or curl up with a good book. When the “heroes” of Atlas Shrugged spend time together, their conversations basically consist of, “What a pity that others can’t be as enlightened as we are.” “Why think about others? Let’s talk about railroads.”

The genius, of course, comes from the fact that the book still engages me, remains one of my favorites–though I hit a wall by trying to listen to the audiobook just a year after I listened to it before. I think it’s on at least a three year back burner now.

So let’s see. Authors I’d want to sit down and chat with. Stephen King? CS Lewis, if he were still alive? Kathleen Norris, who wrote The Cloister Walk? If I could get all three of them at once… plus maybe Dr. Phil for good measure. I know his books aren’t masterpieces, but heaven help me, I just want to meet the man. I don’t even watch his show anymore.

What about you? I’d love to see your answers in the comments or on your blogs!

PS – Speaking of shows, I’m totally addicted to Student Body on “The N” (Noggin). It’s like The Biggest Loser, only they’re high school kids.

PPS – Thanks to Laughingwolf for awarding me the Brillante Weblog award!

12 comments August 11th, 2008

Amazon Kindle review… at last!

Ooh, I’m naughty. I have no excuse for my absence except that I’ve become obsessed with sewing quilts for Chinese orphans. I know that sounds weird, but it’s strangely true. Next obsession: find a way to get the quilts to the orphans.

To make it up to you (ha!), here’s a video featuring my favorite puppets… the Muppets! This was produced by someone who is near and dear to me, so spread it around, tell your friends, etc. There should be more coming out at some point, so I’ll post those as well.

Now, shall we begin our Kindle review?

I got my Kindle as a Christmas present, which means I actually put my hands on it in February (that’s a joke… I mean, it’s true, but read it in a jokey voice). Ironically, I had just decided to decrease the size of my personal library and utilize the public library more. I know we’re supposed to support our author brethren by buying books, but trust me–I buy a LOT of books, if given the chance. So one trip to Bookstar down the street will make up for six months of librariness for me.

Anyway, I can’t say no to a gadget, so I didn’t say no to my Kindle.

Digression: when I was growing up, Christmas stockings are opened first and contain things like dental floss, chewing gum, maybe some hair ties, a keychain, a few bags of candy… and an orange in the toe, always. The husb’s family came out for the holidays, and we were planning to do stockings. I bought the requisite collection of small-ticket items, even ranging as high as a new head for his electric toothbrush.

But the husb’s family does things differently–we opened stockings after the rest of the gifts. And as the husb pulled out a pack of orange-mint gum and a bag of Skittles, I found a printed sheet of paper announcing my Kindle and realized that his family puts items of a different ticket in their stockings.

Lesson learned. I actually ended up eating the Skittles and chewing the gum myself, by the way. Don’t tell the husb. He left them on the dresser for a month! What does he expect?

On with the review!

So, Kindle. I was waiting to write a review until I had a real “whole book” experience with it. Meaning, I bought a book and read the whole thing and got a feel for the device. I had thought this would be Eileen Cook’s Unpredictable, but it turns out that after I bought the Kindle edition, I met Eileen in person at a signing in NYC and bought a hard copy so she could sign it for me.

Fast forward to this recent trip: the book? The Other Boleyn Girl, by Philippa Gregory. I downloaded the whole thing and read it all on the Kindle, and as a result, I am pretty much a convert.

The Kindle, for those of you who don’t know of it, is a small e-book (“electronic book”) reader produced by Amazon.com. You buy e-books by downloading them from the Kindle Store section of Amazon.com, and they are sent through Amazon’s wireless “whispernet” to your Kindle. The whispernet, I think, borrows from cell towers in the area. It eats up battery power, so you can switch it off when you aren’t whispering downloads to your Kindle.

The books are downloaded as files, which allows you to read them on your Kindle screen and turn the page using the buttons.

Here are some broad sweeps:

It takes getting used to, but I did get used to it. It’s light and comfortable to hold, and easy to read. The screen is not backlit, which means you can’t read at night without a lamp, but also means there’s no more strain on your eyes than if you were reading any old book.

GOOD THINGS:

* It’s small and easy to pack. This is great for people who tend to load their suitcases, purses, bookbags, what-have-you, with books before taking any excursion. Right before I zip my carry-on, I tend to get panicky and throw books in willy-nilly, which adds about eight pounds of weight to my load. (Meaningless, since I always buy books at the airport anyway.) The Kindle carries many books at once, and until you actually get on the plane and have to turn off your wireless devices, you can download still more books.

* You can download a sample chapter of any e-book before buying it. This is really cool. It’s the e-version of loitering in a bookstore and reading the first few pages before buying the book–heretofore unknown in online book sales. There’s no charge, and once you download the sample, you can keep it or dump it or whatever.

* There’s plenty of file space on the Kindle, but if you need more, you can use a memory card. All of your books are listed on the home menu, and if you want to free up space, just remove the file–but Amazon.com has a record of your purchases and you can re-download any time.

* It’s easy to use. The controls are simple and intuitive.

* The battery life is very respectable, when the wifi is off (there’s an easy on-off switch for the wifi so you can read on planes and don’t drain the power).

* The screen is as easy on your eyes as any book. And you can adjust the text size.

* You can email or upload files from your own computer (using a cord that comes with the Kindle). I’ve seen agents’ blogs where they forward manuscripts to themselves and therefore only carry home a Kindle instead of several hundred pages of submissions. For them I think it’s basically ideal. I have also used it a time or two for my own work, which is fun. (You protect your Kindle from junkmail by specifying what addresses you can receive email from).

* You can also access Wikipedia (but I haven’t tried) as well as read non-Amazon e-books (but not those in a proprietary format, like Sony e-Reader) and even listen to audiobooks (but I haven’t tried that, either).

* You can take notes, add bookmarks, etc. It has a little keyboard at the bottom.

* There’s a very easy way to put the Kindle to sleep, so you don’t have to constantly reboot it if you’re reading in short intervals.

* Bestsellers are $9.99 (even some books that, in hardback, are $25) and many other books are less expensive.

* No more overstuffed bookshelves! A truly minimalist approach to reading.

“MEH” THINGS:

* The minimalism prevents sharing or passing a book along when you’re done with it. I’m a big fan of sharing the lit, but with a Kindle, you obviously can’t pass something on to a sibling or friend, unless you’re willing to part with your Kindle.

* There are no page numbers. I know this sounds trivial, but I like to always be aware of my exact position. Instead, they use “section numbers” (or segment numbers) that can go as high as necessary (a recent book I read was 10,000 sections). There’s a bar at the bottom that shows you relatively how far you are–like a progress bar– but I never realized how much I paid attention to page numbers until I lost them.

* Not every book, old or new, is available on the Kindle. Many are. But many aren’t. I guess that’s where hard copies come in.

* The reading area is smaller than a traditional page. This is mostly distracting when you are just looking at the Kindle, not when you’re reading. When you’re involved in a book, it doesn’t matter. But then you set it down and think, “Dang, that’s small!”

* Although the notes feature is cool, typing is a little tough.

* The screen doesn’t produce light, so if it’s dim, you need a book light. But it is a little shiny, so you need to find the correct angle to avoid glare (like reading a shiny magazine).

* One “previous page” control is right where I keep thinking a “next page” control should be. So I’m constantly hitting that and then getting confused about where I am.

* The case is kind of silly. It took me a little while to get used to how non-functional it is. Like, it looks like it has an elastic strap to hold the device down while you read, but that only works when the case is shut. I mostly read without the case at all.

* Occasionally, on documents you email to yourself, the formatting comes across wonky. Like, it will mash the paragraphs together or get rid of indents.

* Let’s face it–if you like having full bookshelves, or holding an actual book in your hands, the Kindle won’t be your favorite item. Which is to say, if you aren’t into minimalism, it’s probably too minimalist for your taste. Part of the joy of owning it is knowing that it’s a clutter solution.

* The home menu could be better organized, which is to say, could be more elaborate than just a list of your books. But I’m hoping a firmware upgrade will happen along soon that might add a few bells and whistles.

* Searching for books to buy from the Kindle is easy; browsing is a pain. If I know exactly what I want, I use the Kindle to obtain it; if I want to browse, I use my computer.

* The display is nice and readable, but it’s not really any fancier than a plain old book. Your reading experience isn’t more fancy or mindblowing. It’s just more convenient.

OVERALL:

I’m glad I have my Kindle. It’s great, great, great for travelling. The flash that occurs when you turn the page (and the e-ink, or whatever it’s called, rearranges itself) isn’t distracting at all once you get into your reading–you really don’t notice it. And it does have the feeling of reading a book. You take in the info the same way and get into the characters as well.

The price is a little high for something that doesn’t really save you very much money, unless you buy hardcover books non-stop. On the other hand, it can also play audiobooks, so if you don’t have an iPod, it save that cost.

It’s fun and convenient and compact. There are certainly worse ways to spend your money.

Cheers!

I’m off to work on more quilts.

10 comments June 17th, 2008

If I taught journalism…

…I would use this article as an example of How Not to Write.

Polygamist dress a study in faith vs. fashion

There’s so much wrong with it I don’t even know where to begin. Paragraph 6 seems like a fair place:

The appearance of unity through uniform dress, however, can belie the jealousy that often arises when the women — who might all look alike to an outsider — find themselves in competition with one another over the affections of the same man, Llewellyn says.

What on earth does this have to do with anything? It’s the first glaring example of dragging the sensational aspects of polygamy into an article that purports to be about more than just a profile of the group. It seems intended to satisfy those who would only read about the FLDS situation in order to be somehow titillated or validated in their presumptions about the lifestyle.

Any time I picture someone sitting at lunch and saying, “I read at CNN.com that blah blah blah,” and the blah blah blah is something like the above, it’s all I can do to keep myself from wincing.

Jump down with me to paragraph 11.

The bangs are grown out and rolled (but usually not using a curling iron, because that would be too modern). There are sausage curls on the sides and often braids down the back.

Too modern? These are people who live in houses, not tents in the woods. The communities own and drive cars. They’re not Mennonites. You can’t just throw that aside in there and expect people to believe you. Substantiate!

Now paragraphs 13 and 14:

Celebrity stylist and salon owner Ted Gibson thinks it gives off a “homely” impression.

“It says ‘I don’t really care very much. I really don’t have time to worry about the way that I look, because I have 20 children,”‘ Gibson said. “‘He’s going from wife to wife to wife, so why should I look any better than the other ones?”‘

Where do I start? Why do I care what celebrity stylist Ted Gibson thinks about these women’s hair? Homely is in the eye of the beholder, is it not? Could someone not bring that point into this?

And how does his incorrect speculation (20 children? by one woman? — I’ve seen articles where the women had two, or five, but 20?) add to the question of faith vs. fashion? A celebrity stylist is going to tell us what a fundamentalist polygamist is thinking? And how they dress and behave in the privacy of their own homes? I mean, I don’t know, either, but I’m certainly not going to speculate and call it a news story.

And these are not low-maintenance hairstyles. Women who “don’t care” don’t wear elaborate updos. Why is it never brought up that people adopt and accept fashions within their own communities? Does this writer really mean to imply that these women look at themselves and each other and think, “Man, Rose looks homely today! She’s really letting herself go!”

Paragraph 15 and 16:

Still, it’s not outlandish to imagine the prairie look influencing today’s styles, given that trends can come from unexpected places, and Sevigny is known as a style-setter. You can already find blouses with high necks and ruffles in stores, and puffed shoulders on short and long-sleeved shirts.

Prairie skirts are in fashion this season, while dusty pastels and neutrals are being introduced to offset trendy bold colors and patterns.

“Still, it’s not outlandish to imagine the prairie look influencing today’s styles”–Not outlandish by whose judgment? Influencing in what way? By being the same as fashions already on the shelves? Is there not a better way to tie this content together?

The writer can’t possibly be ignorant of the fact that it takes a year or more to bring a style into the fashion mainstream. Why not instead comment on the seeming coincidence that this group is drawn into the public eye just as fashions that seem to reflect their lifestyle are available in stores (instead of implying some phantom cause and effect relationship)?

Paragraph 17:

Long hair is also on its way back in, preparing to replace the currently fashionable bobs, Gibson says. Buns never go completely out of style, according to Gibson — he often gives celebrities a half-up-half-down ‘do, essentially what we’re seeing in the photographs coming out of Texas.

I beg the writer’s pardon, but I am quite sure that the half-up, half-down ‘dos that Gibson is perpetrating on his celebrity clients are not at all like the hairstyles seen on the women from the FLDS compound. In the first place, I have yet to see a photo of a polygamist woman with half-up, half-down hair, unless you count the single strand of braid that some of them sport.

Paragraph 20:

“Unexpected perversion? Right-wing fads?” Susan Cernek wrote. “Sounds like a good Halloween costume … or Marc Jacobs Spring ‘09.”

By all means, let’s cap off this article about “faith vs. fashion” by quoting some pithy insults about the women being profiled. By all means.

Why does the writer completely ignore the idea that perhaps these societies reject trendy fashion on faith-based principles? That would have been an excellent opportunity to bring up any correlations between the rejection of mainstream trends in both insular societies and society at large, to the extent that it exists. The article never once suggests that these women might be perfectly content with their appearances–or that they might have subtle trends of their own, fashion cycles within their own society. I’m sure the polygamist expert could have offered something on that account.

Lazy, lazy writing! Unstructured and not resembling responsible journalism in any way, shape or form. I get that fun, gossipy fashion articles are meant to be fun and gossipy, but they still need integrity and organization.

And if a random editor stuck that title on the article, shame on that person. What we need less of, in this day and age, is soundbite thinking and vagaries in what claims to be the news.

Boo! Hiss!

10 comments April 22nd, 2008

I just have to say…

Putting your American license plate over your European one is pretentious.

If you can get the screwdriver out to put the new plate on, you can use it to take the old one off and store it in the trunk. It’s not like you’re going to end up accidentally driving over the California/Belgium border and getting pulled over.

Sh’mon, folks! Sh’mon.

4 comments April 8th, 2008

Mai lite bulbz! (also… Award Day!)

Okay, first of all, I didn’t know those light bulbs were going to be mandatory in 2012! YUCK! I am a total lighting snob, and I can’t stand the light from those CFE bulbs. Pleh!

Two of my blogbuddies have been kind enough to give me little awards this week, and I want to pass the love along…

From Maggie I received the “You Make My Day” award:

And Jemima Bean gave me the Excellent Blog award:

I have, in the past, singled out other bloggers I really enjoy, here and here, so be sure to check those out. Meanwhile, here are some other blogs I enjoy, five for each award (even though of course I could list dozens, but we’ll save that for another post!):

Under the category of “You make my day”…

Amber is an old friend (by internet standards, at least!) who shares my interest in writing and has been head beta reader on some of my stuff, as well as providing valuable notes and insights. I love seeing that she’s updated her blog, especially if there’s a hilarious Peyton story.

Alex is an old friend by pretty much any standard! We went to high school and college together (oh, pardon me, he’s Canadian now… “university”!). He is one of the funniest writers out there.

Not Martha is a blog that has all of these wonderful lists of links that are so appealing to me on some very primitive level. Seeing those lists makes me happy (okay, maybe I’m nuts, that’s fine).

Jozet at Halushki is hilarious and always a good read.

Sarah Dessen is an author of young-adult books who is also a new mom and a very engaging blogger. A couple of months ago, I read one of her books and it turned me into a teenager again, in that I took it to work one day and literally would sneak reads of it while holding it below my desk over the course of the day. If any of my co-workers are reading this (you sneaks!), don’t tell on me.

Under “E” for Excellent…

Bent Objects is simply amazing, and you must check it out, and I guarantee you will want to comb through the archives until you have seen every single image.

Sister Helena Burns is a nun (technically a “sister”) who promotes media literacy, which means not censorship but informed discussion–not blinders but awareness and preparedness. Her reviews always make me want to go see whatever she’s reviewing.

Nathan Bransford is an agent who gives lots of good, useful advice to aspiring authors. He responds to comments (if necessary) and manages to get his point across without being rude or uppity or any of those unpleasant adjectives. Until Agent M starts blogging, this is the only agent blog in my RSS feeds.

Tiny Choices is a household/green blog that I’ve been really enjoying lately, and besides, we use the same font in our blog titles so our blogs are clearly littermates or something.

Food Think With Wansink is the blog of the author of Mindless Eating, which I listened to on audiobook and was really fascinated by. The blog contains a lot of info from the book, which is wonderful. Although I’m failing on my mindless not-eating journey. But that’s all on me, not the book.

Any of the recipients may feel free to pass the award along, if you are inclined. If not, fine! Let it die here! Kill the kindness! No, just kidding.

Thanks again to Jemima Bean and Maggie. I’m glad to know you’ve enjoyed the blog!

6 comments April 4th, 2008

Wal-Mart math

Last night, I saw a commercial presumably co-sponsored by GE and Wal-Mart. The actress, dressed in “everyday mom” clothes, was holding up a compact fluorescent light bulb and saying that if all of the Wal-Mart shoppers out there (“All 200 million of us–”) bought just one of these light bulbs, it would be the equivalent of taking 11 million cars off the roads.

I find this extremely hard to believe. That basically says that every 18.18 light bulbs equals one car. Cars don’t seem quite that low-energy to me. Considering that cars themselves contain multiple light bulbs.

I’m sure there’s some slippery math behind it all–such as “we didn’t say the cars were driving, they were just parked on the road” or “we’re saying over the life of the light bulb, you will save the power equivalent to running 1/18th of a car for two hours” or something along those lines.

I hate stuff like this. I think we need critical thinking classes in schools.

11 comments April 3rd, 2008

Cry for help, non-betrayal pledge, circus dogs.

I’m behind on comment replies, as usual. And I’m dying to do an Oscar tribute post. (We watched part of the Oscars… I’d only seen one of the movies (Juno), although apparently I knew less than nothing about any of the other nominees. All I know is that I was happy The Bourne Supremacy got a little recognition, and when I said, “That could have won Best Picture, for all I care!”, the husb laughed at me… not with me, at me.)

The reason I’m posting this right now, when I am supposed to be making sure that what I wrote to go over the Chinese Shar-Pei makes sense and leads nicely into what I wrote for the American Eskimo Dog, is that this morning I revamped the Contact Me page to include a form. Only–get this–the hordes of people usually trying to contact me don’t seem to be online this morning.

I’m kidding, of course. No one cares. However, if you have ever thought in the back of your mindgrapes that you’d like to join my mailing list, please feel free to click THIS LINKED TEXT RIGHT HERE and fill out my form.

I only get a hundred entries at once, so please try to restrain yourselves.

Being on my mailing list is really fun and rewarding… well, that’s not entirely true. What it is, is easy, and pretty much harmless. Ask Father V and Megan, who have been on it for months and can testify that I don’t even send out mailings. But the important thing is that I WILL, someday, and then maybe I’ll have fun secret contests just for people on the mailing list.

What I won’t do is give out your email address to anyone, not even your fellow list recipients via the old “forgetting to use BCC” trick… which, by the way, is another HUGE pet peeve of mine. BCC. Blind Carbon Copy. It is your friend, and your friends’ friend.

Much love, and now I’m off to share critical knowledge with the general viewing public, such as that American Eskimo Dogs have nothing to do with Eskimos, and they were fantastico little circus dogs. There you go. Coming here made you smarter. Good for both of us.

2 comments February 26th, 2008

Random pet peeve

While this is on my mind… one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use the words “look-alike” and “sing-along” and write them “look-a-like” and “sing-a-long”. “Alike” is a word. So is “along.”

That is all.

(This was not prompted by any specific blog entry or anything… it just occurred to me and I had to share with the world.)

5 comments February 25th, 2008