Adventures in Adventure, Episode 1: Treadmill desk

So, okay. Confession time. Since I graduated high school, I have put on a couple of freshman fifteens. (Which is ironic, because as a dirt-poor college freshman, I actually lost weight. Funny how only eating Campbell’s soup and baked potatoes will do that to you. Also probably why my skin was gray.)

Flash forward (mumble mumble) years. I have a treadmill. And I try to use it. Because I need exercise. It’s so weird, because I really enjoy the treadmill when I’m actually on it. Kind of. I crank up some music from my “current project” playlist and do all sorts of focused daydreaming about my characters and story. The biggest problem is forcing myself to actually get ON the treadmill.

One day, as I tweeted whinily about this topic, my friend and “little sister” Debutante, Joelle Anthony, tweeted me back about her treadmill desk. She sent me a link to a blog post about it and I looked in cynical awe at her workstation: a computer mounted above her treadmill. Awe, because who can do such a thing? Cynicism because, well, I can’t.

But lately the idea has been nagging at me. I am really bad about getting all the exercise I need, and really good about getting more than enough calories during the day. I work out on a semi-regular basis and I’m in decent shape. But why not take it further? And why not get out of the chair so my chiropractor can stop giving me those “but you know you totally asked for this” looks?

So this morning I rigged something up for myself. It’s really hideous and hilariously treacherous looking. I’m sure my laptop is screaming silently.

But it kind of works! As of now, I’ve walked 54 minutes and burned 150 calories. Aside from some technical issues (getting the keyboard up high enough for comfort, getting the monitor close enough to see, wondering if I will have to invest in a new “work” wardrobe of very lightweight walking clothes, accidentally turning the speed up to five that one time), it’s going very well indeed.

I do have some questions. Such as, when am I going to shower? Do I get to wear workout clothes all day? How bad am I going to smell when the UPS man comes?

Overall, though, pretty cool. I know my speed (around 1.5 mph, sometimes a little faster) isn’t going to win me any awards, but it’s definitely better than slumping in my desk chair all day. And it gives me a place to wear my Reebok Easytones, so hopefully I can use them up and replace them with the much smaller and more fashionable ones I found about four seconds after I’d ordered the Large White Whale versions.

Typing doesn’t seem to be a problem. And the weird thing is, I took a break for lunch and thought, “Well, gee, I don’t want to eat too much, since I have to get back on the treadmill.” And then I thought, “I probably shouldn’t drink a Diet Coke now, since I have to get back on the treadmill.” So I’m drinking (gasp!) water!

The cons include the fact that the whole time I’m on the treadmill, I have this vague urge to go do something else (i.e., go slump in my desk chair and surf Facebook). Also, the setup is currently pretty giant and ugly and precludes more intense use of the treadmill.

But the pros… they could be very pro indeed! I am looking forward to finding out.

Just for fun, here is my temporary setup. This is a small wooden bar with a footstool on top of it, with a photo storage box on top of that, with a board on it, balanced on the top of the treadmill, with my laptop sitting on the board. The keyboard and mouse are on a metal shelf (actually a very good fit) that is zip-tied to the treadmill. Then there is a memory foam pillow with a bolt of flannel on it supporting the keyboard and another photo storage box under the wireless mouse.

Add it all up and you get what we call “pure class”!

Cheers!

13 comments July 18th, 2010

What are the new vampires? (or, Katie Hears a Haunt)

Agent Nathan Bransford asked this question at his blog, and all I can say is, if it’s ghosts, I want credit. Yes, there have been a lot of ghost books out this year, but I wrote the first draft of BGDD in 2002! So I win.

That reminds me that Halloween came and went and I didn’t do anything particularly Halloweeny. I haven’t needed scary things like zombies, vampires, werewolves, etc., because I have the writer’s scariest thing hanging over me: a deadline (eek!).

Although many deadlines are scarier than mine, because I keep getting extensions (woohoo!). My editor is wonderful about letting me know if I can have more time, due to her schedule. There is nothing worse than rushing to finish something only to find out that it won’t be looked at for three weeks.

Anyway, I thought I’d come share my only ghost story. It’s short but it was creepy as all get-out.

Several months ago, I was working downstairs in my office, and the husb was working very late. Around 11 p.m., I heard him open the door upstairs. I was in the middle of something, so I kept working for a little while. I heard him walking around and eventually heard him settle down on the couch, presumably to watch TV.

Then I decided I should pack up for the night and go upstairs, so I shut off my lights and saved all my docs and made my way upstairs, expecting to see him on the couch.

But as soon as I was halfway up the stairs, I could see that the couch was empty and the TV was off. Furthermore, the lights were off in the living room. I could see that our bedroom was dark, because the door was open a crack.

I called, “Husb?” (Actually, I used his name, but you know what I mean.) And I still thought he was definitely home. I thought he’d gone to bed and turned off the bedroom lights without telling me.

But he wasn’t in there!

He wasn’t home at all.

Heaven only knows what I actually heard. From what I know of our house, its past isn’t sordid or exciting, but the house next door has a bit of drama going on. Maybe that ghost got bored and came to visit me. To watch some TV and turn in early.

That’s it! My ghost story.

What made me think of this was a contest (which I totally missed) at my friend Laura’s blog, Sew at Sea. Laura is freaking hilarious and I highly recommend that you take a read of her blog, because it’s funny stuff. I never knew that an emergency hospital stay brought on by gastric distress would cause me to laugh out loud, but it did. (My own sister once called me on the phone to tell me how hard she laughed about Laura’s comment on my ant crisis post.)

So check it out… and don’t forget to also check out the contest! Now, if you’re busy like my friend JPK, don’t get intimidated. To enter, you don’t have to do ALL the stuff on the list… you can start with something easy like telling me what you’re thankful for.

And remember, if someone talks about ghosts, interrupt them immediately and remind them that Katie Alender invented ghosts. Also, Post-Its and the Internet.

4 comments November 6th, 2009

Ways in Which I Heart New York

Smiling by the pond in Central Park:

Admiring the statue of Balto, the Siberian Husky whose famous “serum run”, to bring medical treatment to the city of Nome, Alaska, inspired the Iditarod sled race:

Taking pictures of important landmarks:

Debuting my book trailer:

Seeing Broadway plays and meeting up with amazing actor friend Greg Jbara, who plays the father in “Billy Elliott”, and showed us around backstage after the show (the husb was there, too, but I cropped him out):

Having lunch with the Delightful Editor, the Wonderful Publicist, and Agent M (who refused to have his picture taken!), and getting my paws on THIS, a REAL book!–click for a closer look:

Taking the cover off to find that my book is done in the colors of Astronaut Ice Cream–I think designer Beth Clark has been reading my diary or something–what author is lucky enough to get METALLIC PINK letters on her book???–click for a closer look.

We had such a great time and ate SO MUCH DELICIOUS FOOD (omg) and saw so many awesome things and could have easily stayed another week.

But at the end of the day… it’s wonderful to be home.

6 comments March 20th, 2009

The wormpocalypse has begun.

(I’m not blogging at The Debutante Ball today, because the 2008 class is back to celebrate the launch week of the final 2008 Deb release, Gail Konop Baker’s Cancer is a Bitch.)

Now. On to the wormpocalypse.

I don’t know what it is about this time of year, but starting about two weeks ago, they started showing up in the street:

The worms. (You might have guessed that by now.)

We live on a hillside street with no sidewalks. Very few people have any yards to speak of, because of the slope of the hill. Because of this, the worms have nowhere to go. I don’t know where they come from or what propelled them down the hill, but I can tell you: they’re everywhere. And it’s fairly gross.

By the time I walk Winston in the morning, it’s usually way too late for most of that day’s worms. I almost always manage to save at least one (I use the still-empty blue doggie bag as a glove), but I don’t know where, in our desert climate, to set a worm to promote his future happiness and well-being. So I usually find the deepest pile of damp leaves in sight and drop the little guy there (and they never thank me!).

So anyway, that’s my slightly-less-poetic version of the story about the guy throwing one starfish at a time back into the ocean. Picture me with a blue doggie bag on my hand, holding up a worm (who is flipping around all angrily) and saying, “It makes a difference to this one.”

Anyway…

(Nice segue, right?)

Nice Segway, right?

Yesterday was the husb’s birthday (I am no longer “the older woman”!), and his brilliant co-workers rented him a Segway for the day. Naturally I had to stop by and have a turn on it. The movement is really quite intuitive, and then you get in your car and feel like you should be able to change lanes by leaning to the left, which is sorta dangerous.

(And how about that posture? Am I a chiropractor’s dream or what?)

Okey dokey, that’s it! I have to go run some errands.

4 comments September 30th, 2008

It’s mighty whaleish out there.

In Actual Writing News, I downloaded a trial version of the program Scrivener and am using it to help me with my revisions of Project X. I’m slightly skeptical, but I’m going to give it a try. The problem is that (without sounding immodest), I am an absolute master of Microsoft Word, and Scrivener has a lot less going on in the bells & whistles department. However, one might argue that a manuscript, unlike a script for TV, doesn’t need so many bells and whistles. I’ll do a review soon if anyone is curious.

In Other News… yesterday we went whale watching!

I’d always pictured whale-watchers as people wearing giant yellow ponchos, holding onto the sides of a ratty old fishing boat (or whale-watching boat, I guess), getting splashed and tossed about and turning green and having to “heave ho” over the side of the railing, if you get my drift.

Not in Southern California, wouldn’t you know. No, out here we go poncho-less. We ride around on a 50-foot Catamaran, basking in the sun and the breeze and eating brownies and only turning slightly green toward the end of the trip (what can I say? I’m a wuss… but I never heaved my ho over the rail).

We were the second trip of the day, and the captain of the boat sadly informed us that the past few days’ trips had yielded not a single whale sighting. Still, as we made our way out to open sea, he was overheard to say to his skipper, “It’s looking mighty whale-ish out here.”

(And don’t think the potential consequences of a “three-hour tour” were lost on me. I was sizing up our fellow voyagers, trying to pin down some Gingers and Mary Annes and Gilligans among us. I’d like to think I could maybe be the Professor.)

I don’t believe in the laws of attraction, but you have to think that 20-something people standing attentively at the railings of a boat, all thinking, “Whale! Whale! Whale! Whale!” would produce some kind of result.

And they did–a sea lion.

But then the captain said, “I see a water spout about two miles ahead!” and everyone got very excited, and the boat kicked it into high gear. As we got closer, everyone saw the water spout (well, not me, apparently what I was looking at was a small boat on the horizon). Then another water spout… then maybe a third one, although we were told not to get our hopes up.

Suddenly, we saw them–blue whales.

Blue whales are the largest living animal, and let me tell you–they’re big.

They’re not blue, but they got their name because, as they approach the surface, the sunlight reflecting off their gray skin causes giant turquoise spots to appear just under the surface of the water.

So not blue, but YES, big. They appear over the surface of the water in a giant arc, first spouting their blowholes, then continuing the motion, so you see the whole length of their bodies go through the motion. And OMG, people. They’re enormous. Did I mention that? They go on forever. One we saw was probably 80 feet long.

We saw three at first, and the captain seemed to think we were seeing a very rarely-observed mating behavior, wherein two male whales (we’ll call them “mwhales”) were trying to convince the same lady whale that each was the mwhale for her. We followed alongside them for a few minutes, while they were swimming quickly up the coast. Apparently they aren’t so much bothered by boats taking a parallel course, but when an overexcited guy on a little fishing boat cut in front of their path, they disappeared. Whale Etiquette Tip #1: don’t cut in front of the whales.

So our angry captain whistled and gestured for the other boat to go away, which he did. We watched forlornly the surface of the water, hoping our whale friends (we’ll call them “frwhales”) would stick around for a while and surface within sight of the boat.

And they did. They stuck around for probably another half hour or forty-five minutes. At one point, one went under the boat, and those with sharper eyes than mine could see the blueness of the whale passing beneath us. At another point, one surprised us by surfacing probably forty feet from the side of the boat, huffing its blowhole and showing off the gigantic length of its body.

Our captain called back to shore to another whale-watching boat that hadn’t had any luck, and they joined us. A few other boats joined the train–a sailboat, a few pleasure boaters. Whale Etiquette Tip #2: do what the whale-watching boats do. Follow them. They’re experts.

At one point, a whale came up in front of us at such an angle that we could experience not only the length of its back but the girth. And ohmygoodness, it was about ten feet wide. They are so BIG. So, so big.

Here is a chart showing how big they are. Click the chart to visit the Blue Whale Info website.

After a while, the whales got tired of putting on a show for us. They went under and high-tailed it (whale-tailed it?) outta there. We bobbed on the water for a few minutes (commence green-turning sequence) and then turned back toward shore. Our captain was very disappointed that, having presented us with an amazing hour of rare giant blue whale behavior, he couldn’t find any dolphins to escort us back to the marina.

We did drive by a buoy that was a resting spot for several adolescent sea lions, though. And those things are so cute, let me tell you. They remind me of Winston, they way he’ll just flop down in a comfy position and doze, not caring whose face his butt is on or anything like that. Sea Lion Etiquette Tip #1: if you can balance on it, you can sleep on it.

So an incredible day. I never thought I was the whale-watching type, but it turns out I am. In fact, next time you go whale-watching, you should invite me, because apparently my soft calls of, “Heeeeeere, whale whale whale… come here, whale whale whale,” are startlingly effective. Also, I promise to try my best not to heave ho on your boat.

9 comments September 8th, 2008

I found something I’m not afraid of!

Don’t forget that Tuesday is my first day as a Debutante! Please drop by and see me (and my fellow debutantes) at The Debutante Ball, although now I’m having visions of a bunch of people commenting, “You are AWESOME!” and scaring away all of the other commenters, which would be sad and hilarious and somehow fitting. So all I ask is that you (TOM) behave yourselves (TOM) around my new, sophisticated friends. The last thing any of us wants is for me to run through a metaphorical debutante ball shouting, “You’ll never take my virtual tiara away from me!”

In other news, I’ve been sick all week. We went on our annual cruise last weekend, and one star-crossed hour in a haze of cigar smoke did in my sinuses and lungs all at once. I don’t know exactly what I caught; for expediency’s sake, I’ve been referring to it as “the Plague.” I’m finally getting back up to speed, but I discovered that Nyquil, which used to be my buddy, knocks me down for the count. I’m a morning person, but one little green caplet makes me feel like I’ve been staplegunned to the sheets. And sadly, Winston has no respect for the Nyquil hangover.

Anyhoo, the rest of the cruise was great fun. I engaged in what is probably the most adventurous thing I do all year–climbing the rock wall. Climbing the rock wall is super fun because you get to wear a cool helmet and harness combo:

Don’t be intimidated by me!
I put my harness on one leg at a time just like you.

Then you go talk to the guy, and he hooks a hook-thingy to your, uh, lower harness-loop, which means you are safe and if anything happens, you will not fall to your doom but only drop to a position wherein you are essentially hanging by your pelvis. Which sounds funny, but I bet it’s not that funny when it happens to you.

He tells you to keep the rope in front of you, then releases you to the wall. At which point, you go to the wall and, in a low voice, beg it not to hurt you.

“So we understand each other, then?”

Then you start climbing, using the handholds and toeholds. Some of them are shaped conveniently like handles, while others are less conveniently shaped like blobs or the top half of an apple. There is actually a lot of decision-making at this stage. Also a lot of moments, where you have your hand on one hold and you’re looking at another one, and you think, “Wait, I have to HOIST myself up there?”

I’ll just grab onto this air.

But you just keep going, and before you know it, you’re at the top, ringing the bell that sings “I conquered man’s age-old foe, the fiberglass rock wall!” throughout the land.

Last year, I rang the bell and then let the guy lower me really fast, but this year I wanted to stop and look around. I looked at the people and the deck of the ship and the ocean beyond, and that’s when I realized… I’m not afraid of heights!

I know that sounds little, but seriously, I’m afraid of everything.

So here is the pinnacle of my rock climbing career, so far. There’s no audio, so you can’t even hear the triumphant bell-ring, but if you keep a close eye on it, you’ll be able to see the maniacal gleam in my eye when I turn proudly to survey my surroundings.

I did it, Ma!

14 comments September 1st, 2008

Shaken, not stirred.

Yesterday, after being in our new office for four months, I finally had our giant whiteboard calendar hung on the wall over my desk.

I said, “Make sure it’s on there tight; I don’t want it falling on me in an earthquake!”

So today, of course, we get an earthquake! The first one I’ve felt in several months. Our building is fairly creaky and often sounds like someone is walking around on the roof. The quake sounded like someone was jogging back and forthup there. The hanging lights all swung and the ground swayed a little.

Eeee, I’m all shaky. Winston is fine. He was in his crate. Everyone at the office is making fun of me for being about to crawl under the desk and bring the crate with me.

Phooey. One girl in the office didn’t even feel it.

For the record, the calendar didn’t fall off the wall!

10 comments July 29th, 2008

And this is why we wear bicycle helmets.

So I’m driving home this evening, talking to the husb via a handsfree device (of course), when I get a sense of a vague traffic disruption and see, you know, a bicycle fly up into the air in front of a car.

And this is why we wear bicycle helmets. Because the car that hit the guy actually has his helmet pinned to the ground between the front of the tire and the asphalt.

I say, “OhGodohGod, I just saw someone get hit by a car!” and pull over and hang up and crack the windows for Winston.

Before I stopped my car, I saw him lying on the ground, clearly moving, but head and helmet clearly stuck.

By the time I parked and got out, he was walking around with his bicycle helmet in his hands.

Let’s all say this together:

This is why we wear bicycle helmets.

PS – I’m happy to say that in the friendly streets of Los Angeles, this incident attracted about 20 people willing to help. So I got back in the car and drove home, feeling a little less whiny in general about my life.

7 comments July 23rd, 2008

And for my next trick, I will disappear.

Just kidding, already did that. Sorry to be off the blogosphere so long. Since returning from New York, I’ve been completely swamped with dog show and manual labor of the gardening variety.

Speaking of the Big Apple, it was amazing. We had a bit of a whirlwind trip, but managed to see Agent M, the Delightful Editor, my brother and sister-in-law and the new baby nephew (who is constructed entirely out of marshmallows), and a dear old friend from high school. We also ate some sinfully delicious food and once again navigated the subway system like a couple of professionals (except that one time…).

It was wonderful to see the Delightful Editor face-to-face, after working with her for nearly a year. We met up twice–once to get a weensy bit of work done, and once to relax and get acquainted. She brought with her the… I can’t remember exactly what they’re called… the interiors? the guts? of the book–all printed up on 11″x17″ paper and typeset and everything. The chapter breaks are these beautiful little graphics that tie into the cover and I’m in luv.

Agent M was great as usual. We talked about American Idol, which for the record is not a show I would have ever pegged him for. But we got all the way up to, “You won’t believe who got voted off!” and then somehow the conversation veered away, and only lying in bed late that night staring up at the ceiling did I realize that I still didn’t know who it was.

Thursday, the husb and I went to Borders to see Eileen Cook and Lisa Daily (Lisa’s link plays music, for those of you surfing on the job) at their book signing. I already owned Eileen’s book, Unpredictable, on my Amazon Kindle, but since I didn’t think the folks at Borders would appreciate me bringing it in and explaining in the middle of their store how fun and kewl it is, I went ahead and procured a hard copy of the book. Both of the books, in fact–Lisa’s book, Fifteen Minutes of Shame, looks hilarious and I will break it open soon.

We had a good laugh over potential inscriptions. A lot of people get books signed generically and then sell them on eBay, did you know that? So I was saying, “Sign it, ‘To Grandma.’” Oh ho ho. We authors are a riotous lot!

And Eileen and I posed for a photo together, so here’s a look at us (I’m the sweaty one on the left… is it bad form to show up at a book signing all huffy and puffy?)… click the image for a larger photo:

It was a great weekend, and the flights were great because we flew Virgin America, which is really fun and cool. You can order food on your little tv-screen thing and they bring it right to you! Although the ticket agent committed (to me) the unforgivable sin of letting us get all excited about an exit row without bothering to mention that the seats didn’t recline. Usually they bring that up. Oh well.

So work has been nuts, but good, and our backyard construction is almost finished, so soon I’ll post about my adventures in the rustic life. As it is, I think this post is going to be quite long, so I’ll break it off now.

Happy Monday!

5 comments April 21st, 2008

the quotable whiner

I’m very honored to be featured today at Blogtations, a blog highlighting quotes from other blogs. I can sit for hours reading quotes, so this is a thrill that goes straight to my little heart. Thanks to Jeannette for the distinction! (Jeannette, feel free to post shameless self-promotion in the comments… I’d do it for you but I’m typing about three words a minute!)

Next week I’ll do a follow-up in proper fashion!

PS- New York is great– last night I met Eileen Cook and Lisa Daily at their book signing! What fun!

5 comments April 11th, 2008